that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
