i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
