So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
