Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i was born a porn star she said
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
