The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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