Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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