Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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