Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
