Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You work out of a Hotel?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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