dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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