Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
