i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
about cumming, not toast