he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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