I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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