He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been