Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends

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(507): Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends http://tfl.nu/oo5w

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(310): View more from California

I think I won the penis lottery.

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(310): I think I won the penis lottery. http://tfl.nu/0aks

Replies (33) Good night (5467) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP

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(512): someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP http://tfl.nu/kebb

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(469): View more from Texas

you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator

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(469): you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator http://tfl.nu/bsby

Replies (21) Good night (7118) Bad night (1424) Order T-Shirt
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(304): View more from West Virginia

She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

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(304): She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country http://tfl.nu/39z8

Replies (16) Good night (4711) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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(406): View more from Montana

Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.

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(406): Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick. http://tfl.nu/xla1

Replies (6) Good night (1914) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.

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(970): She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim. http://tfl.nu/tftc

Replies (4) Good night (784) Bad night (2288) Order T-Shirt
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.

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(808): Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry. http://tfl.nu/7pno

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took

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(780): Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took http://tfl.nu/mwwf

Replies (8) Good night (2218) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.

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(703): I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding. http://tfl.nu/inbb

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(601): View more from Mississippi

You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.

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(601): You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin. http://tfl.nu/p6zj

Replies (7) Good night (1418) Bad night (1618) Order T-Shirt
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth

(1-870): View more from Arkansas

I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

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(870): Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth (1-870): I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come http://tfl.nu/shj4

Replies (5) Good night (1671) Bad night (493)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.

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(717): Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers. http://tfl.nu/8bi9

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom

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(703): I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom http://tfl.nu/16e5

Replies (5) Good night (503) Bad night (1381) Order T-Shirt
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(904): View more from Florida

Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.

(1-904): View more from Florida

I told you to check, dude

(904): View more from Florida

Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.

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(904): Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday. (1-904): I told you to check, dude (904): Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out. http://tfl.nu/ef5z

Replies (14) Good night (1334) Bad night (397)

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