I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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