tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
