Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
