Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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