i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
