do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
