even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i've created a new STD.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
