hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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