fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
