it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I want to have your abortion
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
