I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize