these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
