I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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