This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
