you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
