yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
