Ketchup is God's man juice
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
