My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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