Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
That was an excessively violent trivia night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
