he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
