i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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