I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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