i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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