it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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