I'm jealous of your bromance
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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