Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize