a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
