White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
