You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
