Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
