On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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