Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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