dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
