Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
