He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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