Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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