Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
