direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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