Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
