He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Terrible idea I love it
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
