Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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