you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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