weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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