Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
