oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
