God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
