talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
