Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
