Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
are you so shy because you have an std?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
