Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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