you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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