If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
